"Hillary Clinton is ending her campaign, but really in the bigger sense it's sad because, think about it, there goes right down the drain the Clinton dream of a being a two-impeachment family." --David Letterman
"Hillary is taking it pretty well, I think. She actually said she's looking forward to spending more time with Chelsea, Bill, and Gina Gershon." --David Letterman
"There's a new Vanity Fair article coming out that insinuates, among other things, that he has been canoodling with actress Gina Gershon. Clinton lashed out at the reporter who wrote the story. I guess he's furious about this accusation, in particular, with Gina Gershon, because now he's gonna have to explain it to Megan Fox." --Jimmy Kimmel
"But, you know, people are now talking about the ticket, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. Would that be a good ticket? Would you folks like that ticket? And I think this would be the first, if you think about it, first combination of an African American man and a white woman since, well, Michael Jackson." --David Letterman
"There's been a lot of speculation about John McCain's possible running mate. Experts say he wants someone who's not afraid to attack Barack Obama. That's who he's looking for, yeah. Which explains why McCain has decided to pick Hillary Clinton" --Conan O'Brien
"The good news: the whole voting process ended. The bad news: the 2012 Democratic primary starts on Thursday." --Jay Leno
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