"President-elect Barack Obama and his family made the move from Chicago to Washington, D.C., over the weekend, so their daughters, Malia and Sasha, could start school with the other kids coming back from break. They're enrolled in the Sidwell Friends School, which is a very exclusive private school. Chelsea Clinton went there, and to give you an idea of how exclusive it is, someone got ahold of the school lunch menu. Now this for real. One day menu's, local pumpkin and sage soup, salad du jour, Caesar salad, chopped salad, spaghetti and meatballs, roasted butternut squash [on screen: a copy of the menu]. Disgusting, really disgusting stuff. No one would feed to that kind of garbage to their children. And while that might seem like a bit much for a bunch of 6-, 7- and 8-year old kids, I was actually looking through their wine list this morning and it's very reasonably priced. What would you recommend with Funyons, a Chablis?" --Jimmy Kimmel
"And for the next two weeks, President-elect Barack Obama will be living full-time at a hotel right across the street from the White House. This is historic because this is the first time a Democrat has checked into a Washington hotel room under his own name." --Jay Leno
"Hey, congratulations to Gov. Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol, who had her baby. They named the baby Tripp, which is better than the name Sarah Palin suggested. She wanted to call the kid Joe the baby." --Jay Leno
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