"The Clintons just released their tax returns to the public. ... It turns out that over the past eight years, they've donated over $10 million to charity. When they asked Bill Clinton why he gave so much money to charity, he said, 'She's a really good dancer.'" --Conan O'Brien
"Barack Obama is narrowing the gap in Pennsylvania, and his campaign is pulling out all the stops. ... His campaign office is now giving away tickets to Dave Matthews concerts. Apparently, this is Obama's attempt to win over REALLY white voters." --Conan O'Brien
"She spent eight years in the White House and she thinks calls coming in at 3 am are about interest rates? I guess Bill had to think really fast when he was asked what the phone call was about." --Bill Maher
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