"Howard Dean is on the show tonight. Anybody here from Florida or Michigan? All right. You can't be seated. You'll have to leave." --Jay Leno
"Although, Hillary Clinton was quick to point out Dennis Kucinich still has not endorsed anyone yet. Still on the fence there. I don't want to say Hillary is doing badly in the delegate count, but her numbers are so low, her Secret Service code name is now NBC." --Jay Leno
"Senator John Edwards endorsed Barack Obama for president of the United States. Wow! Wow. With that endorsement, I believe the Obama camp has won the support of its first white male." --Stephen Colbert
"Hillary Clinton won the West Virginia primary with nearly 70% of the vote. That's a lot. Hillary would've gotten even more votes from the West Virginians, but on the way to the polls, some of their houses got a flat tire." --Conan O'Brien
"You can tell Hillary was kind of pandering to voters in West Virginia. Like today, she promised if elected, she would impose a heavy tax on anybody with teeth." --Jay Leno
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