Thursday, May 22, 2008

Hillary's New Plan

"But don't discount this Hillary, because she's nothing if not shrewd. Now she has another back-up plan to get to the White House. She's going to marry John McCain." --David Letterman

"And I tell you, Hillary knows how to appeal to those voters. Like, she promised the people of Kentucky, if elected president, she would lower the price of pay-per-view wrestling fifty percent." --Jay Leno

"On Sunday, Hillary Clinton attended a church service at a church, a Methodist church in Bowling Green. She just went to the church there. It just so happens the minister gave a 60-minute sermon on adultery. Yeah, she had to sit through a 60-minute sermon. And here's the really embarrassing part. Right after the minister finished, Bill stood up and gave a 20-minute rebuttal" --Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton is expected to win in Kentucky. Barack Obama is expected to win in Oregon. And John McCain is expected to win at bingo. So everybody wins." --Conan O'Brien

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